


Shattered edges

by malakian



Series: Folklore [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Album: folklore (Taylor Swift), Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Death Eater Severus Snape, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Murder, Spy Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:41:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malakian/pseuds/malakian
Summary: And I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why — I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try.-Based on the song “mirrorball” by Taylor Swift (from the album “folklore”).
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Severus Snape, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Severus Snape & Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Series: Folklore [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050995
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Shattered edges

"Severus, come," said Voldemort in a soft voice. Snape walked towards him, double-checking the locks in his mind. He had just left his bedroom in Hogwarts, and the Dark Mark burning while he was on top of Lupin, half-naked, had thrown him off balance. He usually managed to gather himself fast and felt ready to face the Dark Lord even before Disapparating — tonight, however, things were different. He felt vulnerable, almost exposed, even though he had put all his compromising memories behind heavy doors in his mind.

Bowing his head, he kneeled before Voldemort.

"Yes, My Lord?" he asked in a low voice.

"Take off your mask. Look at me."

He did as he was told, lifting his eyes to meet the Dark Lord's. Immediately he felt that intrusive presence forcing its way in, rummaging his thoughts, infecting each corner of his mind like a venomous gas. He was used to it, there was no need to panic. He was good at this. He was safe. Nothing new was happening.

"You've been distant, Severus. As much as I appreciate your work as an informant, you do know there are other things in the world. You haven't taken part in our little gatherings as much as you used to. You've been missed."

"I apologize, My Lord, and hope you will forgive my weak body for being too exhausted to honour your service well. But I can assure you —"

"Enough, Severus," Voldemort interrupted him, raising a hand to stop his words. "I am not interested in your apologies. I am worried, however, that being around that old fool might be getting you soft, and I have no use for a soft servant. I do not wish to lose your abilities." He paused and skimmed Snape's face. Then, turning his eyes to someone in the back of the room, he ordered, "Bring him in."

Snape's face was still as marble, but his heart sank. _They've got Lupin_ , he thought, _and they'll make me kill him_. But no, it couldn't be him, he calmed himself down; he had just left Lupin at Hogwarts. Remus Lupin was safe.

"This, Severus," the Dark Lord resumed, "is a _gift_ — a reward for the many valuable pieces of information you have brought me in the last year." Snape heard steps nearing him, accompanied by the sound of something heavy being dragged across the floor and a low whimpering. Snape's insides were cold as he waited for Voldemort's permission to look at the figure now lying beside him. "It is also a remembrance of who we are — of who _you_ are. I want you to remember the good pleasures we can enjoy when we're together."

He gestured at the whimpering body, now shaking as Macnair pulled him up to his knees. Snape got back at his feet and looked down at a man in shabby clothes and messed light brown hair.

"I believe he looks like someone you know," he heard Voldemort's mocking voice.

"Indeed, My Lord," he forced a sneering smile. "Where did you find this exact copy of the werewolf Lupin?"

"Oh, Macnair is excellent at spotting them, you know very well," he teased, circling Snape and the crying man. "He's all yours."

"My Lord —?" Snape started, trying to gain time because he knew exactly what Voldemort wanted from him; he just needed to gather the strength it would require.

"I know you would love to break the werewolf in two, Severus, and it'll be my pleasure to offer you this chance when the time comes. Until then, you can have this one."

"Thank you, My Lord. It's perfect," he said, walking slowly around the man on the floor, pretending to be taking a good look at his gift while he convinced himself that he could do this. He knew he could. How many times had he tortured Muggles to please the Dark Lord in the past? He raised his wand, trying to shut his ears to the man's sobs and pleads. Keeping a straight face, he wondered if maybe he could find a way to delegate this — but no, the Dark Lord had brought this one especially for him. There was no way out. He had to do it now. He stopped in front of the kneeling man.

"Get to work, Severus. Now."

Voldemort's voice was suddenly dangerously low. He would make up for it. He would save two people the next day, he promised himself. Pointing his wand at the man's chest, he opened his mouth to cast a Cruciatus — then the man looked up, his face already bruised by some other Death Eater's beating, and his pale brown eyes — _God_ , just like Lupin's — were full of despair when he locked them on Severus's.

"Please, don't hurt me," he begged — and Snape faltered.

He lowered his wand almost imperceptibly for no more than a second, but it was enough for Voldemort to notice. Snape felt a whip of hot pain on his left side and fell to the ground, breathless. By the corner of his eyes he saw a green light and the man fell dead. He closed them, hand holding the left side of his body while blood flooded from the open wound, damping his clothes.

"So Dumbledore _has_ weakened you, after all," he heard Voldemort's mocking voice above him.

"No — My Lord —"

Voldemort covered Snape's mouth with his feet, turning his face in his direction.

"Or perhaps you have become friends with the wolf."

Voldemort looked into his eyes and he felt the intrusive presence in his head, opening doors and searching in dark corners for one mistake, one misplaced piece.

" _No_! My Lord, I would _never_ —"

"Or perhaps you're just getting old, Severus," Voldemort sneered, leaving his side and walking back to his usual place. "Too old for this, for the action. What is your excuse?"

"I don't have any, My Lord," he started, raising his body from the ground, still holding his wound, gasping for breath. "I was weak, as you said it yourself, My Lord. You are wise and you see our deepest truths. Perhaps that old man has really started to soften me, which makes me even more eager to witness his downfall."

Voldemort narrowed his eyes and offered Snape a vile smile.

"This is not to be repeated, Severus. You are a good servant, and I shall want you as a _full_ servant, not a maimed one."

"Yes, My Lord, of course," he managed to say through his pain.

"And let this —" he pointed at Snape's bloody hands — "be a reminder of what I expect from you."

"It will be, My Lord. I shall not disappoint you again."

"Leave."

He bowed to Lord Voldemort and left the room, Apparating immediately to the school gates. Falling to his knees, he gathered the strength to cast a Patronus and sent it to Dumbledore with a message: _I'm at the gates, I need help_. In less than thirty seconds the Headmaster apparated by his side and, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, murmured, "Stay with me, you're safe now," and apparated them back to his office.

Snape collapsed on the floor and Dumbledore ripped off his robes. A long wound extended from his stomach to his back all around the left side of his body, blood leaking abundantly. He was shaking as Dumbledore pointed his wand at him and started murmuring counter-curses and healing spells. Slowly, the wound began to close, the shredded skin mending back in place. Dumbledore summoned a vial of Dittany and applied it along the cut, watching as the potion worked on Severus's body. Then he cleaned the blood and the bloodstains Snape had on his clothes and repaired the ripped robes.

"I guess this is the best I can do, Severus. Perhaps Poppy could —"

"No, that's good enough," he murmured from the floor, carefully feeling his side.

"Yet another scar for your personal collection, then."

He looked at the man on the floor of his office, eyes full of pity.

"Can you stand?"

"Yes," Snape answered in a pained voice. Dumbledore offered a hand, which Snape took and levered himself back to his feet, letting out a painful moan. He looked down to his left side and saw the long, thin new scar he had.

"What happened, Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Nothing," he dismissed, reaching for his shirt and putting it on, starting to button it up.

"This definitely doesn't look like nothing."

Silence. Snape continued buttoning his shirt up, but had trouble doing so due to his shaking hands.

"Are you in danger, Severus?"

"No more than the usual."

"Are you sure? Because I've been patching you up quite regularly in the past weeks. More than I would like to. Is your position compromised? Should we call this off before something worse —"

" _No_! I'm fine, things are under control. This was just a bump in the road."

"Quite a bump, I would say."

Snape wheezed, impatiently, and kept silent for a while. He avoided Dumbledore's gaze, fixing his eyes on the cabinet where he knew the Headmaster kept his Pensieve. Dumbledore did not insist; he knew very well that Severus wanted to talk about what happened but it had to be on his terms. So he waited.

"He gifted me with a Muggle man," Severus finally said, reaching for his robes.

"I beg your pardon?" Dumbledore could not hide his surprise, his blue eyes widening as he skimmed the other man's face.

"He brought me a Muggle as a gift. To be tortured."

Dumbledore frowned and opened his mouth, but Severus interrupted him.

"And I — hesitated," said Snape, finally looking into Dumbledore's eyes. He felt his stomach burning with the incredulous expression he found there.

"You _hesitated_ in front of Voldemort? Severus — I wish you need not to torture anyone, but it _is_ part of the job."

Snape closed his eyes and warned him in a low voice, "Do _not_ tell me how to do my job, you have no idea —"

"But this is _basic_ , Severus. I will not tell you how to do your job, but you cannot fail in something as basic as this. If he tells you to kill, you kill — if he orders you to torture, you torture — this is how it works, this is how we save the lives of thousands of people —"

"I will not stay here and listen as you talk as if I was just being _weak_ or _incompetent —_ "

"You definitely are neither of those, but you have been negligent at least —"

Snape scowled, murmuring " _Negligent_!"

"— you have, I am sorry, and I understand if it has been too much, if you want to give up, but this is the job —"

"The job that I do for you! I get dressed and masked and I change everything about me to fit in and I go there and _shine_ like a fucking mirrorball in the middle of a perverse party as people are tortured and raped and killed — and I do it _for you_!"

Albus looked at him in silence. Snape's breath was ragged as he tried to put himself back together.

"Severus, I know it is not an easy task —"

"No, you don't. You have no idea what it's like." His voice was low now but shaky, as he was making an enormous effort not to yell. "No idea. You think watching my memories of torture sessions is enough? It is not. You have no idea what it's like to _be there_ , to be part of the fucking circus. You have no idea what it's like to hear someone _scream_ to death."

Dumbledore sighed. "You're right, of course. I'm sorry. The end is near, Severus. I ask for your strength for just a while longer. I know I am being harsh but," he held up a hand to stop Snape from interrupting him, "whenever you slip you put in line the lives of all of us, but the first life to be endangered is your own. And I do not wish for you to be in more danger than you already are. Every time you make a tough decision around Voldemort you do not only save yourself — you gain us all more time!"

Severus closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. When he looked back at Dumbledore, his eyes were dark and full of pain.

"You are an incredibly empathetic person, Dumbledore. You try really hard to understand people and see their struggles and pain and demons. You are really good at that. But sometimes you _fail_ — and when you do, you do it abysmally. I will _not_ let us go down by hesitating when asked to torture someone. I am excellent at what I do and I assure you — you're all still safe with me. But if I can avoid torturing someone at the small cost of a _scar_ , I will do it. I will handle it because I can afford it more than I can afford watching someone being tortured. Only I know what it costs to see that kind of pain in someone's face, especially when you are the one causing it."

They stared at each other for a long time.

"Can I ask you something, Severus? You deny it, yet there _is_ something different about you. I can't quite place it and I don't know _when_ it changed, but it's recent."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he answered, holding Dumbledore's gaze.

"You've always been a natural at the art of lying, but I know you all too well —"

Snape snorted. "I've never been a natural, I've just — all I do is try and try and try every day not to fuck with our lives while avoiding breaking in a million pieces."

"You don't need to lie to me, Severus. I'm not watching you hoping you'll shatter in glistening pieces. Your ruin is not entertaining to me. I _care_ about you. And I can see you are different from who you were a month ago. I just hope this is a good change."

Severus stared at him in silence, frowning.

"Maybe I have found something to care for, something to long for when this is all over." He looked back at his hands. "Someone."

"A good change, then," Dumbledore said with a smile, even though his eyes were full of sadness. "Just be careful. You are not like the regulars."

"Can you lift the protections again? I want to Apparate directly on my bed and sleep for 5 days straight. Do not wait for me to be at breakfast tomorrow — I will not be there."

Dumbledore gave him a small laugh.

"Enjoy your bed. I'll grant you a time off from Umbridge." He murmured incantations and nodded. "You can go now."

With a crack, Snape Disapparated from the Headmaster's office and appeared in the middle of his room. He promptly pointed his wand to the armchair in the corner as he heard movement there and someone saying, "Merlin's beard!".

A man was standing in front of him — a man with light brown hair, wearing shabby clothes.

"It's me," the man murmured, and he recognized the voice, his chest untightening, but it took him a while to understand that it was Lupin who was in front of him, not the Muggle man he had just seen being murdered. _That man_ was dead and he could do nothing more about it. _Lupin_ was here, and he was alive.

Severus lifted his hands to his face and took a deep breath, trying to push the memories from this evening — the man's eyes, his sobs, his crying; the green light, the lifeless body by his side as he bled — while frenziedly thinking about what he could do to keep Lupin from ending up like that.

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked it, please consider giving kudos and/or a comment telling me what you thought of it. <3


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